Happy Birthday, Maddy!

When Maddy turned seven, our family celebrated by beginning a new chapter that was be life changing, helped to raise awareness for those suffering from food allergy, and helped educate people about OIT. Now, as Maddy turns 8, and will begin the 3rd grade, so many possibilities are open to her as a child that doesn't have food allergies standing in her way!

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Check out my other blog, The Best Medicine, about my husband's battle against cancer.
Showing posts with label childhood friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood friends. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

High Hopes



Anxiously awaiting the taste of PB.

 Most parents will say their children’s personality shines through early on in life. It’s pretty evident, usually, which of those qualities become their strengths - whether those traits are adopted from your spouse, picked up from you, or were crafted on their own or, rather, with the help of another influence. Our children do eventually become these little individuals somehow melding all of the above into something entirely their own. Even if half of the time we are shaking our head at them in amazement or exasperation, it is incredible to witness watching our children grow up.

At a fairly early age, it was evident to us, that Madeline was a confident little thing. She had a sense of humor that matched her father’s and a brazen attitude that our family likened to my own, a dangerous combination to say the least! Family & friends humorously called her “assertive” for her age and often joked that if at three years old she was able to tell people what to do with such authority, imagine what she would be like at my age. At one visit to the apple orchard with friends, we moseyed along, enjoying the beautiful fall day. Maddy relished each moment, the beautiful weather as she ran through the orchards with our Goddaughter, Aubrey and other pals. She really wanted to get to the pumpkins next and was eager to be sure everyone knew where we were headed. Jumping on out of the wagon, and in front of our group, she let everyone know which activity was next on the agenda. 
Lil' Miss Bossy Pants - Fall 2009

Everyone, everyone – listen!” she yelled. “We are getting pumpkins next, follow me! Self-assured, assertive, confident, you name it; this kid did not lack it. And I was proud of that. 

She had more confidence than I could imagine. And it had started much earlier than that miniature event planner at The Country Mill. The spring before that particular incident, at just three years old she amazed us all, when she told us she wanted to perform a song for our church’s Spring Fling, a show put on to demonstrate the musical talents of our church members. Maddy practiced and practiced, mostly with her Grandma Linda. Music is very special to Jason’s side of the family and most in the family either play an instrument or sing in a choir and they’ve been determined since Maddy’s birth to pass that on to her. As a result, she loves music and was quite confident the day she took the stage. It was really hard to believe and beautiful to watch as she sang each word of Frank Sinatra’s classic, “High Hopes.” I’m certain I was more nervous than she, but why would she be? She had high hopes! 

Spring 2009
My memory threw me back to this moment when ol’ blue eyes serenaded me recently driving home from work. The memory struck me and I considered the expectations we had when we began our OIT journey. At the start of the peanut allergy desensitization program we had extremely high hopes for the way it would go – Maddy would get through the entire Rush Day protocol, she would increase her dose each week, she would love and adore the taste, smell, and texture of peanuts, peanut butter and everything peanut, and then she would graduate right on time. Ta – da!
Our hopes were dashed from the start - expectations had to be renegotiated every step of the way. That is the way this program goes.

That was hard to deal with sometimes, though. 

She didn’t make it as far through Rush Day as we’d hoped, she had quite a lot of little reactions along the way, and she certainly wasn’t enjoying the peanuts. 

She was to six peanuts at this point and we had high hopes, once again, for her to love peanut butter. We hoped to just get her through until graduation with some more options for her dose. She didn’t like dry roasted peanuts and those Peanut M&M’s were great, but so filling in the morning that she wasn’t eating a nutritional breakfast. Everyone told her just how much she would love the ooey-gooey peanutty goodness they all adore themselves, and we were all excited for something new. Wrong!

Let me reiterate - Maddy had done very well at this point – in all ways she could. Her body had been desensitizing just as it should – the few reactions were pretty normal and not at all bad. She had decided her dose was just that – medicine & she would take it as such, no matter the taste. Now that we were six peanuts in, I was really hoping for the “she likes the peanuts” phase to kick in and it hadn’t, not yet. 

At this point, too, Maddy said, “the one thing I don’t like about this peanut program is that it’s forever.” 
The first taste!

For a mom who had done nothing but eat, sleep, and breathe peanut allergy desensitization program  – this one punched me right in the gut – juuust a bit. 

But -  I’m not a quitter - and neither is Maddy. 

So, we soldiered on.  She soldiered on. 

She gave up on peanut butter for some time after that first try, but like most things, she tried it again and again. And, much like everything else with Maddy, her attitude about desensitization has come around again, too. Her dose, peanut butter, Peanut M&M’s, and peanuts are becoming a regular part of her life. Like her dad, she finds the humor in everything she does, and like me, she takes each challenge on head on. And like the unique child she is growing up to be - she has high hopes; she has high apple pie in the sky hopes!


Monday, December 3, 2012

Friend, Dear Friend



Maddy & Livvie

One of my favorite quotes about friendship is “A good friend is cheaper than therapy” (author unknown).  In my life, over a beer, during a car ride, in the classroom, or on the phone, many a conversation have helped me hash out my problems or theirs. My friends are as important as  family and we’ve raised Maddy to believe friendships are not only important, but essential components to a healthy life – expecting her friends to treat her well and to treat her friends the same – by giving and getting love, support, and a sense of belonging. 

The girls playing at the desk.
In our lives together, Jason and I have not only been lucky, but blessed, to have an amazing group of close friends. This remarkable group of people has been a part of our lives since college, some before. At Michigan State we studied together, partied together, and at one time or another, lived together. We’ve stood for each other in weddings and have held each others' newborn babies.  Every time we see each other we hug each other like it has been a decade since we’ve spoken, but pick up conversation as if it was just yesterday. We try to get together when we can but also reserve a few very special days out of the year just for each other, New Year’s Eve, the Fourth of July, and an especially fun day in September.  Even as we age and can hardly handle our adult beverages anymore, we party like 30-something rock stars – stay up late around the fire, argue over politics, religion, or any other controversial topic that may come our way and maintain every bit of love & respect for each other through it all. Even as the group has grown to include new spouses and the occasional neighbor or two, this is our core. Our history. 

Amazing Doc - Doctor Mayer.
Amazing staff - Nurse Amy & Nurse Lety.
Madeline has watched us with this group of friends and others. She has been witness to how we treat our friends, as well as how we expect to be treated in a friendship. Jason and I would do anything for them because our true friends, this group I speak of and others I haven’t even mentioned have been with us through thick and thin, especially in recent years. When Madeline was first born, they were there at the hospital & then the house to hold her little hands. When chemo threatened Jason’s hair, these guys shaved their own heads. When trips back & forth to the oncologist were simply too much - we were given the amazing gift of a cleaning lady to help out with the house - now that's friendship! We are surrounded with beautiful people who hold us in their hearts and them in ours. Friends keep us going at times.

One big happy family!
The beauty is that in watching Madeline experience peanut desensitization, she is learning more about friendships, too. Madeline’s best friend, Conley, will always be her BFF, “till we die” they say and we are sure to keep a regular play date going. But the “peanuts gang” has a different connection that has provided Maddy a chance to show empathy, caring, and support that she has not needed with her BFF so far, but may someday. When Ella graduated she had a chance to see where she was headed with the program. When Izzy had to stop OIT because it was just not working for her, we said prayers, talked about Izzy's feelings, her family and what it might mean for her future. We still do. And when Livvie graduated it was bittersweet. It was hard for Maddy to say good-bye but so awesome for her to see her really great friend moving on to such great things. She wanted nothing more than to be there to see Livvie eat that peanut butter and make sure all was well with that final challenge. Madeline has treated each situation with the dignity and grace of a mini adult; I am impressed and proud of her!

The girls sitting still long enough for a pic!
Maddy has felt nothing but love and support from the staff and patients at Dr. Mayer’s office – exactly what I hope for her in life. Everyone cheers her on - like this time as she went from 250 mg of peanut flour to 500 mg - the last stop before a peanut -  and she does the same for them! The day Livvie graduated was a happy one for everyone – another success story, no problems for Maddy, just another day of playing with friends for Livvie, and just another (exhausting) day at the office for the staff - and another reason to feel hope for those living with food allergies! As the parents bonded over next steps, Maddy, Livvie and the rest of the gang just had fun – because sometimes that’s what it’s all about, too!